Dear Tristia & Clive (pt.4)

To quote the words of Pop Sensation Alanis Morrisette – I’m here to remind you of the mess you left when you went away. This should be the words sent to the Openreach “engineer” whom was working on our phone-lines yet again today.

Clive, Tristia, Your Respective Press Teams, Esteemed Friends, Frenemies and Enemies watching on Facebook & Twitter. I’m writing to you again. Not for my love of poorly crafting random song lyrics into letters but simply because, as The Average White Band perfectly sang – “Let’s go round again”. You have succeeded in turning back the hands of time as the next line suggests – back to the middle of January WHEN WE HAD NO PHONE LINE OR INTERNET WITH NO WARNING.

Tristia, we’ve been in vague contact with your whimsy barely effective apologiser, Alick, with regards to our internet. He told us it had been returned to full service… yet in the same letter admitted there was still a fault on our line…. Back to Alanis again; Isn’t it Ironic, don’t you think?

He’s (apparently) been on holiday, or so he told us today during one of his brief calls of no substance. He hasn’t responded to the questions on our emails, or the phone calls/messages which we’ve left him asking what is going on.

This would all be well and good if our internet was working – It’s been about 80% working… Strangely similar to the internet we had when we first reported this issue back on the 6th of January……

Anyway, I digress. Even though Talktalk believe there was no fault on our line (but also a fault on our line?!) it would appear someone from our beloved friends at OpenReach have been performing some works on our line this morning…

How do we know I hear you cry? In what can only be described as engineering excellence from an engineer who believes 50 volts should be plugged straight into a bath full of water, our phone line now is dead again. Our internet, is dead again… although, that might not be quite all it seems.

While, unlike last time you haven’t gone full out Blondie and left us “hanging on the telephone”….. should you “Call Me, (call me) on the line, you can call me, call me anytime” You’ll actually ring our lovely neighbours across the road… (perhaps this is when they become, good friends?)

Our dear neighbour across Ramsey Street… I mean Stanhope Road, is actually a Doctor whom is often on call. I would hate to think you’d have to send some “Supermarket Flowers” (as sung by Ed Sheeran) when he misses a call and a patient doesn’t quite make it.

Back to Alanis, but Ironically their internet isn’t working, and phoning their number doesn’t ring our house… Lord knows where it goes…. A little too ironic, now I really do think.

I don’t want to Raaaaaaain on your wedding day… because I assume that you two, Tristia and Clive, are in some sort of messed up matrimony over this… but I think the good advice that you just should take, would be to sort out this telephony roulette once and for all.

We know what’s going to happen. Clive, you will send lovely Mark down. Lovely Mark will find us “Hanging on the telephone” (Thanks again, Debbie!), will plug us back into the right socket and then… It’s just a jump to the left, a step to the right and the TimeWarp has gone back to the 6th of January YET AGAIN…. Except we can’t play our “Late night double feature picture show” as the YouView box has no internet to connect to.

Clive – Get the networking side of this shocker sorted please. Tristia, we’ve heard from Clive himself… When I see your face, well…I’ll be a believer – I’ve offered to come and meet you a number of times, but I’m not sure you actually even exist.

As it happens, I enjoy writing these emails, my friends enjoy reading them and sharing them, however I’d really rather that we had our internet back up and working properly without all this additional aggravation. To quote my dear friend Shania Twain on your response to this whole debacle, Tristia… “That don’t impress me much”.

I’m no longer sure if I look forward to hearing from you, or if I will ever hear from you? (Tristia, do you even exist?!)

Please contact me either via email, or via my mobile… Alternatively call our neighbours on our landline number… I’m off to eat a couple of yogurts and tie the pots together with string.

Kind regards,

A rather “hung up” (Thanks Madge),

Steven

Dear Tristia & Clive (Pt.3)

Hello,

It’s me, I was wondering if after all these weeks you’d like to meet…. Okay, it’s not quite how Adele wrote it, but as my internet still isn’t fixed, I’m cordially inviting you both round to my house to come and witness it first-hand. I’ll provide the Cakes and the Coffee, you guys provide the poor connection and we can struggle to stream cat videos from Youtube together.

Tristia, Clive, you might have noticed I’ve been quiet the last few weeks. The reason is, quite frankly I’ve had other priorities in my life than doing the unpaid work of your combined teams. I’ve been running diagnostics, chasing engineers, trying to find a solution… I shouldn’t be doing any of it. Tristia, your Fault management team & CEOs team have been as useful as filling up a Fire Engine with Petrol instead of water.

Clive, you’re on a slightly better footing – you’ve sent us the lovely Mark. Mark has gone above and beyond to try and make sure our copper cabling isn’t at fault. But we knew it wasn’t. We were told that in January.  I can’t help but feel you’re just fobbing us off until June when the new cabinet goes live? Do me a favour, send me the fibre equivalent of Mark… Maybe as the fibre side is owned by Talktalk, it’s you Tristia that needs to be doing the sending.

The thing is, the facts here are fairly simple; I’ve run a series of tests where I ping a server on the internet. All over night, with no real load on our line. While most of the time I got a reply within 8-10 milliseconds, a number of times it took up to 3 seconds to get a reply. Something is STILL not right. Those three second (and on some tests I ran nearly 5 second) responses are the reason our internet just “Stops” randomly while we use it. We could be streaming Youtube, FireStick, checking Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook and things just stop. Not ‘in the name of love’, but more ‘Right now, thank you very much’…. Except I’m not thanking anyone as there is no reason it should stop.

Getting technical, I imagine it’s because the sites we are using are using the TCP protocol. It’s like handshake –

*Connection open*

> “Hello are you there?”

< “Yes, I’m here”

>”Data Please”

<”Okay! DATA….”

>”Thanks, bye!”

*Connection Closed*

When our internet drops out, I imagine it goes a bit more like this:

*Connection Open*

> ”Hello, are you there?”

< ”Yes, I’m here”

> “Data Please”

> “Data Please

> “HELLO?! ARE YOU STILL THERE

< *Mumbles to himself* Oh, they’ve gone, shut down the connection.

*Connection closed*

> “Data Please!!!!!”

< The person you are calling is currently unavailable, and their mailbox is full. Please try again.

 

Seriously now, slightly dumbed down technicalities over, Please, come and visit… see for yourselves, it’s infuriating and makes using the internet often impossible – Things stop downloading or streaming, messages don’t send and photos in webpages download like its 1998 dialup again! (Line by line!)

Strangely, this all sounds very similar to the fault I reported to TalkTalk back in January.  Temperamental internet. Great work all teams, over 4 months and you’ve made no difference.

Now, Tristia, one of your well trained apologisers was supposed to be refunding some of our Direct Debits while circus show was ongoing. That never happened. So, hear it here first…. You broke your SLA, I’m going to break ours – I’ll be instructing Dad to cancel the Direct Debit he pays you. Simple as that. We’ll also be compiling a bill over the next few days. Not only of the mobile data have we had to buy and the 4G WiFi equipment for home, but also, of the time we’ve spent doing the job of your teams. Chasing OpenReach, Pretending to be TalkTalk, running tests, and writing these letters in order to get stuff done.

I’ll end with some good news – while this charade has been going on, Vodafone have been digging closer and closer to my house. Yes, Clive that’s right, in the time you’ve been fobbing us off, Vodafone and Cityfibre have been busy at work, laying fibre to the premises.  Looks like they’ve nearly met your 70 day lead time for our whole area! Following the sensational service you two have provided, I think I’d be a damn fool not to already be in contact with Vodafone about getting their service fitted. (For the record, it’s been all the WRONG sensations.)

Anyway, enough of this tomfoolery – I must get back to work… (I’m sure you’ll love my newly self-appointed title in my signature!)

I look forward to hearing from you – Let me know when to put the kettle on.

Kind regards,

Steven

Newly appointed Senior Case Manager, Barnet Area, TalkTalk PLC & BT OpenReach PLC.

Dear Tristia & Clive (Pt 2)

Dear Tristia and Clive,

CC: Press.Office@Talktalk.co.uk, newsroom@bt.com, Social Media & Any interested newspaper

 

I address this letter to you both. Like partners in a dysfunctional marriage…. Because frankly this charade has been like observing a dysfunctional marriage.

Tristia, I wrote to you back on the 6th of March, regarding our lack of internet and phone…. It’s now the 23rd of March and guess what? I’m sure you guessed it…. Still nothing. Frankly two yoghurt pots and some string are more useful than the service you currently don’t provide to us!

I didn’t hear back from you Tristia. You’re like the pen friend who doesn’t reply to my messages… we’ve all been there… or maybe you also don’t have any internet. You did however place one of your highly skilled team on our case. When I say highly skilled, I mean highly skilled in being generally clueless and issuing multiple empty apologies.

Never mind… I digress. We’ve now been 62 days without internet…. But I’ve realised Tristia that the lack of pressure from TalkTalk is your issue, but the lack of action from OpenReach is actually Clive’s Fault.

So, Clive…. We turn our attention to you.

You’ll find below in this mail trail, a copy of the previous email I sent to your partner in crime, Tristia. I suggest you read it… It’s quite amusing actually…. Until you realise it’s 100% true and is not a fiction novel.

You see Clive, the thing is (TL:DR), over 62 days ago, one of your employees told us that we’d go from temperamental internet to perfect internet within a few days. Those few days later, we were completely disconnected…. Since those “Few days” we’ve had no formal acknowledgement of when it will be fixed…. Or even IF it will be fixed. Who knows? This could be the end of the internet for us! But who doesn’t love being told we’ll get an UPDATE in a month, a week, a few days’ time. Not a resolution, just an update. The update is “Still no clue”.

I’m quite excited to read that Vodafone have signed a deal with CityFibre to provide fibre direct to the premises, as hopefully one day I’ll be able to get home internet without having to use your cack-handed infrastructure monopoly. If they were in my area now I’d have signed up already and left you and your sorry coppers for dust. (Same with Virgin Media….)

Now Clive, I’d like to let you into a little secret. In fact, not such a little secret…. You see the thing is, I work in IT. So I know lead-times for lines. In fact I have personally managed the installation of large corporate circuits. I also know, that according to the BT Website (Let’s be frank, you pretend to be impartial but aren’t.) I could have a Leased Line of a 1GB or 10GB bearer installed to my premises within 70 working days.  https://btbusiness.custhelp.com/app/answers/detail/a_id/14172/~/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-btnet-up-and-running%3F/c/5091/

Another week, and you know what that means Clive? It means that had I ordered a leased line as our line went down, you’d have arranged planning permission, local council permission, closed off the road, dug up the road, laid fibre, filled in the road, connected the line up to my house and I’d have 10Gb guaranteed upload inside my front door.

I’m actually fairly impressed that you can’t even get a 30ish (On a good day with the wind blowing in the right direction…) fibre to the cabinet line fixed, NOT INSTALLED, just fixed in the time it could take you to provide fibre directly to our house. GOOD WORK.

So Clive, please tell me… because I’m stumped. If you can dig up roads and lay delicate fibre cables to buildings within 70 working days…. How is it possible you can’t fix up a dodgy port on a glorified patch panel in our local cabinet? Have all your engineers mysteriously gone AWOL? Have they taken my internet AWOL with them?

To Paraquote Sinead O’Connor; Tell me Clive, where did I go wrong? Because Nothing Connects. Nothing Connects 2U.

I doubt I’ll hear from you Clive… (or from you Tristia if you’re still reading – You’re probably playing Candy Crush or watching Cat Videos on Youtube)  but if you see this email… send me a sign. Hopefully a sign of an actual date of when this will be fixed.

I extend the same wish to you Clive as I did to Tristia – Tell me when and I’ll come and meet you, I your nice shiny office… probably with this mystical service they tell me about called phone lines and internet. Because, I’d love for you to be able to restore my faith in your service… but right now, I wouldn’t trust BT OpenReach… SORRY, JUST OPENREACH to look after a jar of dead flies.

As I’m sure you’ll understand – Slightly frosty regards,

Steven Phillips

@steveeypips

Dear Tristia, CEO of Talk Talk (Pt.1)

Dear Tristia,

CC: Press.Office@Talktalk.co.uk & Social Media

I hope this open letter/email finds you well. In fact, I hope this email finds you at all. I highly doubt it will and based on the customer service I have received from your company so far, I’ll be surprised if it even gets delivered. Even sending this email to you has been a challenge – I’ve had to tether my laptop to my phone in order to send it to you, as for the last 45 days, we’ve been without internet and telephone line in our house.

Yes Tristia, you read it correctly, we’ve been without service for 45 days. For nearly the entirety of this year, we’ve been without services (Which I hasten to add we’ve continued to pay for) which are supposed to be provided by TalkTalk.

On the 6th of January, we reported to your technical team that we were having an intermittent internet connection over our FTTC line. Initially your technical teams denied such issues, and suggested we had a faulty router which was “hearing a faulty signal”. This absolute unfounded rubbish provided to us by a man over 6 and a half thousand miles away might wash with the majority of your customers, however I work in IT. I had therefore already tried a number of different, known, “Not Faulty” routers and was certain that our connection was at fault.

Eventually, after a number of calls to a large number of offshore call centres, I convinced one of your agents that an Open Reach engineer needed to visit our home and take a proper look. A few days later, I stayed in for the engineer and a lovely man turned up who confirmed that while our copper to the cabinet was absolutely faultless, the Fibre Operations team at Open Reach could see our line disconnecting regularly and suggested that we’d need to be moved to a new fibre port. He told us not to sweat and that although we had no available ports on our cabinet, a high priority ticket would be raised and we would be swapped within a few days, at worst a week.

We were overjoyed to see an engineer working on our cabinet a few days later, but with no further communication from TalkTalk I pulled my car over and spoke to him. He informed me that although it would be a few months before the new cabinet he was installing would be live, there would be no impact on our connection. While not ideal, we thought we’d be able to cope with a few more months of intermittency.

What happened instead is that were plunged into digital darkness. On the 20th January we went dark. We had absolutely nothing. No Phone, No Internet and no communication or real idea as to what was going on from anyone at TalkTalk. The well-known phrase about inability to host a raucous party in a brewery could be used as an adjective to describe things here….

We called… and called… and called and were eventually told that service would be resumed on the 1st March. Unhappy but having made a number of calls to your call centres, including a call where we were told we had been escalated to the CEOs office and we’d get a call back from a member of your team, (we didn’t ) we gave up and decided to sit tight until the 1st March. Meanwhile, we have run up huge bills on our mobile phones for calls and additional data.

The first of March rolled round, and I had to check we hadn’t jumped a whole month to the month of April. Sure enough, when the 2nd of March came, it was no April fool… we were still without anything. Another call to another of your exotic call centres told us that “We should have an update within 3 to 28 days”. THREE TO TWENTY EIGHT DAYS.

As you can imagine Tristia, we are now getting to the end of our tether with this entire charade. We were given a selection of numbers for Open Reach who refused to talk to us, and were even given a case number and engineer update line number so that we could pretend to be TalkTalk in order to try and gain updates and APPLY PRESSURE OURSELVES when it should have been your customer service team doing this. I’m not sure I’d trust your customer service team to service a dead cat, let alone my broadband line.

Further contact with your social media teams with a request for a member of your team to simply call me and explain what the wait is about has failed, with them only yesterday informing me we even had a case manager, and today promising me today a call “within three days”. Have any of your “CEOs Office” even seen my tweets, DMs, Facebook messages and general discontent? I doubt it!

But Tristia, let me tell you the biggest irony in all of this. When the line first went down, we had incoming calls forwarded to the account holder’s mobile. While the line has been down, we’ve had calls from scammers trying to tell us there are problems with our internet. You know, the scammers who have our details from your huge data leak a few years ago – even though you deny leaking our details… Ironic really… for once, the Scamsters are actually correct!

Tristia, The account holder, my dad, has been unable to work for two and a half years. During this time, he’s been using your service to stay sane. From watching TV to browsing the internet, and talking to friends, without the internet and Telephone service you are supposed to be providing, he’s at his lowest he’s been. Adding to this, we’ve noticed his moods have gotten snappy as he’s spending endless amounts of time saying the same thing over and over again to your exceptionally incompetent call centres.

This evening we had a call from an office in Manchester, (Even though the Philippines promised us there wasn’t one!) with more shallow apologies and loose promises of updates in a range of timeframes. Initially updates tonight were going to be in 28 days but when we explained that we were only able to actually hear the calls on our mobile phones by hanging out the kitchen window, it has been suggested that there will be a call tomorrow. I shan’t be holding my breath.

So, Tristia, as you can imagine I’d really like to get this shambles resolved. In fact I’d like to take a day off work to come and visit you at your shiny “NoTalkNoTalk” West London office, where I’m sure you have excellent connectivity. (If you’re sensible, it will be provided by Virgin Media!) Please let me know when would be a convenient date for you to meet with me, and I will ensure to arrange appropriate leave time from work.

Honestly, I’m not sure how you can get something so simple, so wrong. In 45 days, all we’ve had is shallow, half-hearted apologies – no one has even told us the reason that the line has gone completely dead. We know there was nothing wrong with it – the Open Reach engineer told me that when he was in our home.

I really look forward to hearing from you, (although doubt that I will.)

Kind regards,

A very disgruntled Steven Phillips.

(@steveeypips)

 

 

Iceland Day 3: The Land of Ice and Fire

That should probably be more Snow and hot water…. I’ll talk to the tourist board about that…

Tonight’s location is the bar of Foss Hotel Reykjavik. (that’s my hotel, I’ve not just wandered into a random hotel!) To be clear, the bar is in the corner of the room. The room being the breakfast room with a couple of lit candles and the lighting on dim…. a tad less inspiring than the Hamilton DC. (I’m going to get kicked out mid-writing this…. as the bar shuts strictly at 11!) They do serve a lovely Icelandic Orangina (same idea different name)… it was £3.50 but was still the most reasonable thing I’ve bought today. (EVERYTHING IS SO DAMN EXPENSIVE!)

Last night, about 1.30, I decided to go out for a drive to try and see the northern lights.  I’d noticed a gap in cloud cover on the forecast, thought it lined up with Þingvellir so thought I’d drive out there and have a look.

On the way, nature decided that a snowstorm was in order. This made for fairly interesting driving conditions. Once in Þingvellir national park there were no other tyre tracks on the road which was cool. There was also next to 0 light pollution too.. so even at night you could see the clouds as white on the dark of the sky.

I soon watched another car go past… I didn’t see any others before that in over 40 mins!

I stopped for a while just off the main road at the entrance to a closed road. Safely parked and visible to any cars that might come (None – I hadn’t seen any in over 40 mins by now!) I switched off engine and lights and sat and waited. There was a lot of clouds and while I thought I saw something, a spot of further driving and cloud movement confirmed it was just the moon! 🙁

This morning I had a little lie in (I was shattered!) and got up, dressed and headed literally across the road from the hotel to look at the view!

The world is flat here in real life, I promise!

Then I decided to head out towards Reykjadalur – Steam Valley. I stopped just off the main road and had the most amazing salad for lunch (Create your own, Chop’d style) with incredible smoked salmon. So good and so big that it came with me as a dinner too!

From there I drove a bit further towards the foot of the Reykjadalur trail to go to the hot springs…. I could have taken the very easy road of going to Blue Lagoon or Secret Lagoon, paying a ticket fee and sitting in the geothermal springs… but I decided to opt against commercialism and go eau natural.

The website said that the hike too about 30 mins… Great I thought… except it was throwing down snow like you can’t imagine. Now back home, the Met office would thrown Black, Red, Sparkling flashing and fizzing warnings out to everyone to lock up their children, buy tinned food for 9 years and not to go outside. Here, the weather was decidedly “Fair”.  (Someone even said “this isn’t even winter here”).

Thankfully I started, turned round to pop my camera back in the car and met some people on the way – 2 foresters from Canada and a brit who has become a Glacier guide here in Iceland. Without the company I’d most certainly have given up very early into the hike and gone back to the warm car.

White, just white everywhere

To semi-quote the sound of music, we pretty much Climbed Every Mountain.  Up, Over and down the small peaks we went. Frankly this was the most challenging thing I think I’ve ever done and conquered. It has meant that I now have a bit of a want for walking again…. lets see how I get on with keeping that up!

About halfway I fell foul to what we thought was a bridge – one of the girls went over first, I soon followed to find that the bridge was actually snow and that my right foot was about to get a soaking! (A warm soaking mind you!)

Eventually we knew we were getting closer to the springs as pools emerged smoking, bubbling water with signs warning you that the water was ~100 Degrees centigrade. Unsurprisingly these were not the rivers for swimming in! (They are like mini Geysirs and you can see the water bubbling like a saucepan on a hot hob!)

As Colbie Callaitt said… Bubbly!

After what felt like about 3 years but was more like 2 hours. We reached the top, where we found some, erm… windbreakers. In the thrashing snow, we stripped off, popped on swim gear, nearly froze our feet to the floor, and jumped into the river. My laces had become frozen together so took a little defrosting before I could even start!

It wasn’t as warm as we hoped – The snow doesn’t help! But the experience was incredible. We were up a mountain, in the snow, in hot water.  (Laying there and keeping yourself from moving was a great core workout, I thoroughly recommend, but everything is going to hurt tomorrow!)

I got in the water! I promise!

Eventually we were brave enough to jump out. OH SWEET LORD WAS IT COLD! Thankfully my coat had held down sheltering all my stuff and soon I was dried, dressed and ready to roll.

We started to descend and the snow had decided to hold off for a little bit. The amount that had fallen was incredible and in places we were up to our knees in snow!  At one point I slipped a little and my water bottle (Courtesy of Hilly Jilly Dilly of Hong Kong Fame) decided to jump out the side pocket of my bag and take a slide. Thankfully it went cap first, and got lodged just a meter or two down so I could slide down (Myself already on the snow) and retrieve it!

The Descent!

As the snow had stopped, the view had cleared and we had the most amazing views of the valley and hot pools as we descended! Strangely the descent was shorter than the ascent (Employing sarcasm here!) and soon we were back at the car.

Bit of thermal river action… the water was much cooler here though!
When the snow stopped you could see the amazing views!

I finally understood the reason that car manufactueres invented heated seats and heated steering wheels! I treated myself to a coffee and a cake at the bakery I’d eaten lunch before heading back to the hotel.

The snow was back and it was a little more tretcherous than before. Worst in the city centre where a run in with a taxi driver nearly ended up with me bespokely redecorating the side of my car. (Thankfully I saved it!)

We’d discussed at the end of the walk the public pools and how they were great so after finishing my salad (yes I waited 30 mins Mum), I decided to go 4 blocks up to the Sundhöll Reykjavíkur. I actually decided against the pool but instead spent my time in the Hot Tubs (39 and 43 degrees). The hot tubs were rooftop so all the while the snow was lashing down on us. It was incredible.

The pools here are like an institution. This one in Downtown Reykyavik is fairly old but very well kept.   They are very strict on washing before entering and I’d read that regulars will send you back if you haven’t had a proper full on naked shower before you swim. (“Naked shower” was exactly what was written on the signs all over the showers!) You could tell who were the sort of people who could become “Shower police”!!!  (I didn’t get into trouble, don’t fear!)

Watching the people in the pools was incredible. (I love a good people watch!) Mainly due to the different types of people that were there. I was the only English speaker for the majority of the time so had to kind of guess what was going on but there was literally all walks of life there – Couples, Women friends meeting up for a bitch,  “Lads” having a lad night out, (They’d be getting drunk and having fight at home!) Girls having a girls night out, and people just there alone for some peace and quiet!

All in all a fantastic experience for just over a fiver… which is  surprisingly comparable to home! If I had more time, I’d go again… It’s open til 10pm!

All watered out, I slid/drove back to the hotel (I just couldn’t face walking through the snow storm) and sat for a moment reflecting on the last few days:

Tomorrow I’m going to try and go inside Hallgrímskirkja the huge church before the flight home and then that’s pretty much it… I’ve got an afternoon flight, but have to be at the airport at midday and lord knows how long it’s going to take to get there so this could be the last blog post…. (I might update it with Hallgrímskirkja for my own record!)

Tomorrow not only marks the end of my holiday,  but also begins the end of the limbo I’ve been in for the last 2 months…. I’ve done some serious life evaluation over the last 2 months, (not just doing some of “The life changing Magic of Not giving a fuck” book that one of my old suppliers sent me and an excellent xmas present!) but I can honestly say I’m in a much better place that I was… probably actually this time last year!

I’ve learnt that no matter how much you think you love something, you really do have to check that you don’t just get into the rut of loving something for the sake of loving something…

Parts of the last 2 years I have really really loved, and I have made some amazing friends worldwide whom I know I will keep in touch with for years to come! Thanks to anyone who has put up with me, in person, down the phone, down a dodgy Whatsapp video call, or over email, snail mail or any other means… and thanks to those who stood by me while actually my soul was being eroded away inside.

I’ve seen amazing changes in myself not just mentally, but also physically with my skin clearing up (Partly helped no doubt by these new drugs… but assisted by circumstance) and it’s really amazing to hear from people “you just look generally so much better”… it really reinforces the fact that you’ve made some right decisons, for yourself. (especially when you’re looking much better on the inside too!) I have a habit of not putting myself first, which I finally understand the importance of doing!

I know a lot of people have asked me what’s happening next, and if you’ve read down this far, well done… I’m pleased to say that I’ll be starting at a little firm you may have heard of called Amazon in their IT Department. (No, I’m not delivering the parcels. Not funny anymore!)

Nervous, worried and excited  are only three words which describe how I feel now… (looking forward to a bit of routine again!) meanwhile I best go and get on packing… Suitcases sadly don’t pack themselves.

Peace out. Steveey P, SuperStiv, Stevo, Knobhead (Just you Angie!!), whatever you call me…. Over and out! 🙂

 

 

Iceland Day 2: Sometimes you have to ignore TLC’s advice…

Lots of people in this life give you lots of advice. Some you decide to listen to and some you decide to drop… “Don’t go chasing waterfalls, please stick to the rives and the lakes that your used to”…. is something I’m gonna drop. Today I chased all three! 🙂

So I woke up about 9, went down for some breakfast and made myself a couple of rolls which were wrapped carefully in serviettes and popped into my pocket ready for lunch. (Think March of the Living Sans Tuppaware, if you’ve been!)

From the hotel I headed towards “Road 1” or as some locals like to call it “The ring road”. Think M25, but also think often single lane, questionable weather, single lane bridges (i.e. one lane two directions) and think at some points, gravel! FUNs.

I headed south on the ring road hoping to get to Vik, practically the most southern point of Iceland, to see it’s cool cliffs and amazing black sand… I was not far out of Reykjavik on Road 1 when the conditions became interesting.  The road goes uphill quite steeply and the wind at the top was doing all sorts of things. I’m pretty sure I now know what a pilot feels like when a plane hits turbulence!

The views while driving, which were meant to be stunning were unfortunately obscured by the low cloud and rain. BOOO.

I’d got over halfway to Vik, when I saw from the road an amazing looking waterfall in the distance. I was obviously going to stop and have a look!

What I found was the Seljalandsfoss and another which I’m not sure of the name of. I also found LOTS of rain…. and also managed to ensure that I saw all the usual candidates!  (I always say you can go anywhere in the world, and always find American and Chinese people!)

Featuring the river it flows into!
Ft. Chinese lady losing her coat.
Smaller falls nearby….
Around the Mountain….
Picnic anyone?
Sticking to the Rivers I’m used to…..

It was truly beautiful if not truly soaking! I wandered around and watched the water flow beneath the ice  – I uploaded a short video of it to Youtube here… https://youtu.be/7D4DMJWzNA8

From there I got back in the car, took all the wet layers off (Thankfully I was wearing many layers)… was a little upset I hadn’t bought a spare pair of trousers…. cranked the heating up to full, laid the clothes out on the passenger seat like a clothes horse and set to dry as well as set off to Vik.

On the way I noticed I was passing the Eyjafjallajökull which erupted in 2010 causing all those delays/cancellations to flights. Turns out those waterfalls run off from the volcano! (they say it’s the land of fire and ice and they ain’t wrong!)  Sadly it was so cloudy I could only see the very bottom of it! 🙁 (Bastard in 2010, still a bastard in 2017!)

Eventually both the clothes dried and I arrived at Vik. Initially going directly to Vik, and stopping in the food/icelandic wear shop (Useful stop for the loo!) before heading back a little way towards one of the popular black sand beaches. (It was still raining and although I was already damp, I just couldn’t face the thought of a wet 15 min hike!

I arrived at the beach and took heed of the friendly warning signs….

Thankfully you can’t see clearly the bit about the Chinese man who got swept away…

…and then headed (Yes, VERY Carefully Mum, Aunty Nicky, and anyone else who will send me a warning. I WAS CAREFUL!) onto the beach.

It was truly spectacular and the waves were truly terrifying. I was stood a long way back taking a photo and the next thing you know the very end of the wave (the foamy bit) was lapping at my feet! The rocks are really cool too – the way they are shaped is to do with the way the cliffs were formed from magma cooling….. Ill leave that to the geologists, BUT THEY COOL AS HELL!

While at the beach I took a moment to stare into the space of the waves, in my own little space where it was quite and just reflect on things. ( a bit deep but really actually I felt so much better afterwards!) I thought for a while about the stress of the last 2 years and the effect it had on me as well as my upcoming challenge starting a week tomorrow. (AAAH)

Yup, that’s sand and it’s black
Cool rocks
Cavernous!

Reality hit me as the rain became more aggressive (Dry is underrated) and I realized I should probably head back as light was fading. (We’re only getting light about 10-4ish). I tried to head to another waterfall but the light was gone so decided to turn round and head back home.

Even wavier than the crazy waves last summer in Mojacar… (hehe)
More cool rocks

I stopped to fill up on the way back and asked for directions for some good food locally. I was given VERY detailed instructions by people who swear their English wasn’t very good… to find you could actually see the restaurant, 200m down the road from the petrol station.

Fish and chips was nice, but VERY expensive.  I did worry as I was the only person in the place, and there was a lot of horsemeat on the menu. I’m pleased to say they didn’t mince me a make me into burgers. (the man was really nice and we spoke literally about the weather!!!)

On the way back, things were going to plan, until I hit the rather tall hill which was turbulent on the way out… It quickly turned in to a snow storm. Thankfully only a small amount of Large Car Toboggan took place, thanks to the 4WD and snow tires!

When I got back to Reykjavik, I stopped off at the Hallgrímskirkja just to get a photo at night… I plan to stop by in the day for a visit!

Breathtaking architecture

I’m now posting this and am off out again – it’s very cloudy here and chances of the northern lights are LOW due to the cloud… but I’ve seen a spot of the forecast near where I was yesterday which has little cloud. I’m hoping I’ll catch something as it’s forecast lower and cloudier tomorrow! 🙁

One day left! 🙁

That’s why Mums….

What a day. Well actually what a two days. In true “Iceland Style” (frozen food supermarket not country), I’ve had a 241…. Actually more a 222:

2 Days
2 hours sleep
2 countries

To suggest I’m tired is an understatement.

Having got a lift to Newark, I gingerly placed my bag on the scale to find out that actually surprisingly my bag was underweight! (I’m not sure how!) I popped some more stuff in and headed towards the gate….

I’m still unsure why people would want to “preboard” the plane. You’re gonna be sat on your bum in that seat for the next 4, 5 or however many hours… Why have extra time sat down?! Anyway… We boarded, I’d been switched back into an exit row (following a 3 time switch debacle!) And due to the man behind wanting to sit next to his partner ended up making a new friend in Emma (shout out to Emma, who for the record agrees with my preboard point!).

I somehow managed to pick up 2ish hours sleep. I don’t sleep well on planes…. Oh and a very nice new blanket for the collection! Some shluf, Sour Patch kids Courtesy of Emma and some conversation later we land in Keflavik Iceland…

I head straight for the “Shuttle bus to car hire” Pickup point (Outside in the cold, not wearing appropriate clothing) to realize that actually I was being met in the terminal.  I got back in side just before a quick snowstorm and tried to buy a coffee. Apparently “The coffee machine doesn’t open before 8am, but the one over there works”… Who knew coffee machines had feelings.

Eventually I was on my way – rumbling along in my Opel (Vauxhall!) Mokka 4×4, with Nails in the tires! (Good nails – Spikes out, NOT Bad Nails – Spikes in).

The man at the car rental explained that it wasn’t going to get light until 10am, and that there wasn’t much do/see when the sun was down but I could head to Grindavik and drive the very long way round to Reykjavik that way.

On arrival at Grindavik I found nothing…. Well nothing but a very off road road which led right down to where the land met the sea. (And at times, the water did meet the land, and I had flashbacks of Mersea 2015 – 4×4 copes better in water than civic!)

This tiny dirt track of a road led me to watch the sunrise over the sea by the lighthouse. Pretty cool!

Light it up baby

From there I headed to Reykjavik, stopped off for another coffee and cake before realizing that I couldn’t check in until 4 so I ought to do something with my day!

So I headed out to do my own version of the “Golden Circle” tour that a lot of tour operators here run for me this included

  •  A hike/walk/stroll/slide round bits of Þingvellir National Park
  • Seeing the Geysirs
  • Seeing the Gullfoss waterfall

I’m not really going to write much more about it, but just leave you with some pictures!

I had dinner tonight in a restaurant round the corner from my hotel and now I’m off to bed but first must decide what to do tomorrow… sadly no northern lights were visible tonight 🙁

 

The beautiful landscape just keeps on going!
Þingvellir Views.
Beautiful waters
Thermal pool, the water is just under boiling
‘Cor Blimey what a geezer!

Sunset game = Strong
The noise was immense!

DC Day 3

(Apologies for the lack of photos…. see my Capitol Building 360 on Facebook!!)

So today’s post is going to be a short one…. Mainly as I’m writing it on a very short flight – 34 mins flying time to be precise. (More on that later!) but also as I’ve only really done half a day’s worth of interesting things!

This morning I headed out from the hotel to the Capitol Building where I had booked a tour! The Capitol building is the American equivalent to the houses of parliament where the Senators and Representatives sit making the decisions which govern the policies of America. (I did try to get a rule passed to have Trump removed but they said they’d let me know!)

The building itself is old…ish. As I  found out in the Museum of American History, the history of America is not all that long! The Capitol was finished in the 1800s but has gone through a few changes since being “finished”…. both Senators and Representatives have moved where they sit as the numbers of each have grown. We got to go to the original halls for both groups as well as to go to  the beautiful rotunda. I didn’t realise that the British were here first and that the Americans fought against us! (now I’m more than aware thanks to the wonderful video that played at the start of the tour!)

From the Capitol tour, I took a walk round to the front of the Capitol Building on the National Mall to take some more pictures, as well as to take in the reflection pool in front of the building… (DC loves a reflection pool!).  I jumped in a cab and headed back to the hotel to pick up my bag before getting the Metro to the Airport.

Regan National Airport turned out to be great for people and plane spotting, as well as listening to the hilarious Southern Drawl announcements which were going on! (I’m not sure why as Washington DC is not south!) We boarded the plane and after pushing back and beginning to taxi, we found ourselves with a 40 minute delay. I’d made friends with someone in the know, who told me that it was due to a VIP being moved. This tallies up as in the cab earlier I’d heard trump was set to be leaving the White House for Airforce One in order to go on a lil trip. (I did ask him if he had room for a lift, but he declined… he just doesn’t want to chat to me!)

Meanwhile we’re nearly back already. The lovely cabin crew have handed out drinks and pretzels and almost instantly collected cups back in… Originally they quoted a flight time of 36 mins before changing their minds in a funny announcement where we were corrected to 34. Those two minutes made all the difference behind a 40 minute delay I’m sure!

The way these planes are back and forth between cities amazes me. I know they have Megabus here but it really is like the national Express coach service of the US. They call it the shuttle, and it’s no lie… This crew has another 4 runs today!

There’s going to be no update tomorrow as I’ll be chilling out, but plan to be back with something on Saturday from Iceland! “Cabin Crew, Take your seats for landing please.”

DC Day 2: Monuments, Museums and Mammoth Amounts of Walking!

Greetings readers and welcome to Blog day number 2!

Today involved LOTS of walking. Everything aches and is certainly deserved of a bath, however following a rather chilling experience with the bath here yesterday, I’m going to opt out! (Let’s just say not EVERYTHING in the states is bigger than at home!)

Before I tell you about today, I’d like to take a short moment to write about my current surroundings in which I’m sat to write. When booking a cheap, central hotel, I didn’t think I’d end up in the nearly 100 year old Hamilton Hotel which is on the National Register of Historic places.
Tonight I’m sat in the foyer. Perfect people watching position, in the back left hand corner. It’s small but perfectly appointed nicely scented (Important) and has more gold leaf than you can shake a stick at. It just feels great and a perfect place to write… (especially with music like Carole King’s Tapestry gently playing in my ears – shout-out to Spotify!)

Classic and Classy. Carole King turned quickly into the well fitting Big Band Jazz!

As I’ve written this, someone has started hoovering. It’s 10pm…. SHHH!

Anyway… today:

Today I was up and out fairly early for me on holiday (before 10!!) and headed down to the Washington and Lincoln monuments Via the White House.  (to be clear, the President’s house, not the Kosher Take away in Hendon/Golders Green). While by the White House, I noticed a lot of Police Cordons, followed by a helicopter overhead. This then was followed by a convoy of about 20 police bikes, a good 10 or so police cars and then three black “State Cars”….. The cars headed into the driveway of the White House…. I assume that was the president coming home. (Sadly I didn’t get any photos!)

The “other side” to the photo I posted on Instagram/Facebook. This is the front of the White House!

From the White House, I walked back down toward the Washington Memorial. In daylight it’s just as imposing as it is at night! I now know that it was built to commemorate the first President of the United States, George Washington… and that when built, it was the tallest structure in the world, later trumped by the Eiffel Tower! (I know some more but I’m not gonna bore you with the facts… wikipedia has it all should you desire!)

Boldly piercing the blue sky.

From the Washington Memorial, I walked along to the WW2 Memorial, amazed by the immense detailing present on the memorial and the thought that had gone into it. It’s at the end of the Lincoln monument reflection pool and gives great views of both the Lincoln and Washington Monuments.

Details…

I wandered along the Lincoln Monument reflection pool in the bitter cold (It’s -5) up to the Lincoln Monument, Watching the reflection of the Washington monument grow as I walked.

Proud of this shot, even if it meant crouching down and nearly exposing my bum to a group of Chinese tourists.
It’s much bigger when you’re up close. Almost like an Italian or even Greek structure!

When I got to the Lincoln Monument I froze for a moment at the sheer size of it. While the Washington is tall and imposing, this is tall and vast and just kinda of BAM hits you in the face. I climbed the steps and entered inside to see the statue of Lincoln in the center.

While in the hall, I over heard a mother shout in a southern twang “Mary, Mary, get in front of Abe for a photo” (Mary, obviously pronounced “May-Ree”)… I decided that Abe probably would have been a fan of a selfie, so did the obvious.

Hideous of me, but Abe looks good… You can see Mayree off to the left!

From the Lincoln Memorial, I walked back toward the National Mall via the Korea memorial (because I was passing) toward the museums.

They view from the Lincoln Memorial Steps of the Washington Memorial. The Capitol Building peeks its head out from behind the Washington memorial if you stand on the sides of the Lincoln memorial!
Korea Memorial

 

Soon I found myself at the Holocaust museum. Even having been to Poland, I felt compelled to visit and saw a number of artifacts and items which I hadn’t seen before. It’s got a similarity to what I can remember of Yad Vashem, where the main museum is dark, but you cross a number of times, through the light of the center of the museum. It’s cleverly set out across 4 floors ending at the Memorial Hall where I lit a candle in Remembrance of the distance family I lost at Majdanek. ( I only learned of them Via my Cousin, Sherman when visiting…. More about that trip is here)

Never Forget.

From the Holocaust Museum, I headed up the National Mall towards the Capitol Building Stopping for lunch at what was effectively an office mall full of business people. (A bit like Canary Wharf)… the food court had a load of options, and I had a lovely Falafel pita.

Satiated, I headed towards the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum. There were lots of planes and a few spacecraft to see. Oddly, I didn’t really take any photos. This is probably as I was a little… well let down by the museum… Thinking about it, the reason I was so let down is because last time I was in the states I went to the Kennedy Space Center which was hands down the best museum/working place experience I have ever been to. (I’m still blown away by Atlantis!)

From the Air and Space museum, I crossed the National Mall and had a wander round the Natural History Museum. Unfortunately again, I felt a little let down, most likely as we’ve got the impressive Natural History Museum in London. (Which houses a sample taken by me! If you don’t know the story, ask me next time you have half an hour to spare!)

From the Natural History Museum, I headed next door to the Museum of American History. This turned out to be a Bizarre collection of things, Trains, Cars, Buses, Clothes… all sorts.  I did manage to go and see the Original “Star Spangled Banner” made by Mary Pickersgill in 1813. As the flag is now kept under special conditions, It’s now in a no-photo area, so you’ll have to trust me when I tell you I’ve seen it! (And no, It’s laying down so I can’t say that, that star spangled banner yet waves. *rimshot*)

As I left the Museum, I managed to grab this pretty nice shot from the center of the National Mall:

Beaut Sunset!

I was in need of a bit of a sit down so got the metro back to my hotel (I just couldn’t face the walking!) and relaxed in front of the telly for a bit before heading out to a kosher restaurant for some dinner.  – I’ve eaten my body weight in meat and am more than satiated yet again!!

I don’t want to bore you all with more transport geekiness, but I’m gonna. In stark contrast to NY’s Subway the Metro is very clean, clear and uniform. All of the underground stations I’ve been to so far have been of a VERY similar design – Impressive vaulted horizontal cylinders. Platforms have lights on the edge which flash when the train is approaching and there are machines inside the gateline to top up your card if you run out of credit when you get to your destination. (Nearly, but not yet used by me!)

It’s a strange space age situation which is unbelievably airy for being underground!

There’s also quite the mix of trains – I thought when I arrived that things were still a bit “classic” here but have since been set right with a ride on the (I assume) brand new trains which include  3 types of display to tell you where you are and what’s next! They ain’t messing about!

Right. Enough train talk. I probably ought to get to bed. Tomorrow morning I’ve booked onto a tour of the Capitol Building! Hoping to pass a bill to sort out the man in charge…. No Promises but I’ll try my best!

Night y’all!

State of the Blog 2018

Good Evening (or I imagine morning by the time you come to read this) Earthlings and all other unfortunate creatures who have stumbled upon this blog.

For those of you who have been sending me what can only be described as borderline hate mail, (you know who you are) I am pleased if not indifferent to say that the Holiday Blog is back. (Travel Blog would be a vast overstatement!!)

Coming live to you this evening from Washington DC just after the State of the Union Address was given by the President, just a few blocks down from where I am writing this…. More on that later…

Before I get to DC, I want to clear a few things up:

I haven’t been blogging the first 5 Days of this trip because I’ve been to NY before. Anyone with lots of time to kill can bore themselves silly here reading about that…

The first 5 days of this trip have been downtime. If you’ve been following my life, you should be aware that I’m currently between jobs just like the last time I was in the states, but this time I have a very exciting job lined up for my return! I’ve spent very little time in New York City itself, mainly keeping busy round New Jersey with the lovely Abrahams’ eating far too much food and buying too many clothes.

There are a few things I have noticed about America (Well NY/NJ and now Washington DC which I have noticed which I wanna just throw a bit of light on:

PoPo.

The Police/Pigs/Five-Oh/Feds. They everywhere! You can’t go more than 5 minutes without seeing another car (At least in NY/NJ and tonight in DC. It makes you feel kinda safe…. you know!

Subway

I forget that I should be more thankful for the clean, well signed, easy to navigate London Underground. I take it for granted. While the Subway is getting better (They have new signage/screens which are actually better than London!) We’re still waaay ahead for ease and clean… although some express trains would be nice!

Immense National Pride

Regardless of the Cheesy Wotsit running the country, everyone appears to be immensely proud to be American. This means putting an American flag on EVERYTHING. I’m pretty sure they’d stamp it on toilet seats if it wasn’t a bit weird. I bloody love it. If you hung Union Jacks up at home on everything you’d get accused of being part of a Britain First kind of fascist movement… but here, no matter creed colour or race, putting a flag on it is the right thing to do! I bloody love a bit of national pride!

Example of Immense Pride in Washington DC this eve… It’s a Government building of sort, but still an impressive number of flags!

Things settled, onto today….

I had a slow start this morning, repacking my suitcase and packing my backpack for my two nights in DC before I got a lift (Thanks Jem) to LaGuardia Airport where I endured an hour and a half delay before getting on the “Shuttle” service to DC. Literally the Plane equivalent of a bus.

The plane was tiny and so was the journey. By the time the Air-hostesses had given out drinks, it was time to collect in the garbage to land.  We’d barely gotten going.

I navigated the DC Metro to find my hotel, the Hamilton (Insert links to the musical, but as I’ve not seen it, I won’t understand you.) I’m right in Downtown DC and thanks to some sneaky booking, it didn’t cost an arm and a leg! (Loves a bargain me!).

I checked in, and went and got some food. It’s freezing cold, -5 here, so a big pizza did the trick before I went for a stroll…. I was hoping to catch the protests which were going on but sadly missed them.

Looking at some of the monuments and buildings at night, I’ve come to realize how little I actually know about the history of America (Which for an A Level Geography student is a little worrying!).

I wandered down to the Washington Monument, managing to take a wrong turn and not see the White House on the way (Well done!).

It’s cool, It’s imposing but I still don’t really know what it commemorates!

From the memorial, I wandered down towards the Capitol building where the State of the Union Speech was taking place. (I’m sure I wasn’t on the best route, but a guy who looked like Obama waved to me while he was being driven, so I was happy!)

The pavements were empty literally not a soul in sight, but Police on EVERY corner. I’m almost certain I’ve seen more police today here in Washington DC than we have in the whole of the UK!

Is that St Pauls?

From near the Capitol building, I asked a Police Woman where the Protest was… she told me I’d missed it by about 10 minutes and it had dispersed along the road… had I eaten quicker I might have seen it, but she assured me that Pizza was better than protest.

From the Capitol building, I found a Walmart (I do love a late night supermarket!) where I purchased some supplies (gotta be prepared!) before heading back to the hotel in a Taxi who told me all about how Uber was killing their trade. Sounds familiar!

Well… that as they say is that! I’m off to catch some sleep, I’ve got two beds to choose from (LOL) but I’m excited to be up and out tomorrow early doors to go and do some sightseeing and museum visiting!

Nighty Night… or good morning if you’re reading it back home!